The Mysteries of Humor

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Illustration by Luci Gutiérrez

Why is it boring when your friend Don tells you about his wife leaving him but you laugh when you find out that she left him for another man named Don?

Why is a funny cowboy dance hysterical but a funny sailor dance confusing?

If a busload of circus clowns is travelling through Mexico, is there any chance they will survive?

When you see someone sinking in quicksand, is it funnier if you know the person?

Did the Vikings have jokes, and, if so, were they surprisingly gentle?

Is pointing and laughing something we do naturally, or do we have to learn it? Likewise, can someone without a sense of humor be taught to have one, or must it be beaten into him?

How long should you laugh at your boss’s joke? A half hour or a full hour?

For there to be comedy, must there also be tragedy? For the comedy of someone heckling an actor, must there also be the tragedy of the person being escorted from the theatre?

If your friend is struck by lightning and he seems to be all right, but his hair is smoking, is it O.K. to laugh?

Why does Marta still laugh when I put on my T-shirt backward, even though I’ve done it hundreds of times?

Are some things never funny, like a man accidentally chopping off his finger with a hatchet, and wrapping up the finger and taking it to the hospital, then discovering that it isn’t his finger but one of the Vienna sausages he was having for lunch, and then eating the sausage?

Is there humor on other planets, and is it so advanced that it makes our fart jokes look crude and primitive?

Why is a man slipping on a banana peel funny, but not as funny as a man choking on a banana peel?

If a man finds a message in a bottle, is it funnier if instead of a message it contains a tiny little banana peel?

Can something be true and funny at the same time, like “Your head looks like a melon”?

Shouldn’t a person who tells a joke in a bar and gets no laughs be entitled to a free beer?

If a tree falls in the forest, on top of an old man with a walking stick, does he make a sound?

What is funnier: a dad trying to get his kid’s kite up in the air but getting it caught in a tree, or the dad trying to get the kite down with a rake and accidentally tearing it to pieces?

Is there a story that would best illustrate what humor is, and, if so, what would that story be?

Do insects have a sense of humor, and does it involve stinging you?

Will there ever come a time when we won’t need laughter, when we’ll be sitting on soft pillows, wearing our shimmering metallic robes, drinking our soothing space tea, and perhaps one of us will reach for a piece of cheese housed in an ancient device known as a mousetrap, and the mousetrap will snap on the person’s finger, and he’ll let out a yowl of pain, and the rest of us won’t spit the tea out of our mouths but will just stare blankly?

Will that time ever come? Let us hope so. ♦